“She’s Not Her Ex, and I’m Not a Fantasy”: When Your Client Is Loving Someone Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
As a therapist, I often work with clients navigating the confusing terrain of early relationships. One of my clients—let’s call her Maya—came into therapy recently trying to make sense of a relationship that was both deeply affirming and increasingly destabilizing.
Maya is dating a woman named Alicia. From the start, she described their connection as electric, magnetic, soulful. They could talk for hours. The physical chemistry was undeniable. The emotional intimacy, profound. Maya felt seen, held, wanted—not in a superficial way, but in a way that made her believe in something sustainable.
Family Isn’t Always Safe: Setting Boundaries During Summer Visits
The first time one of my clients — let’s call her Maya — decided not to attend her family’s annual reunion, she shared with me how anxious and conflicted she felt leading up to it. She barely slept the night before, her stomach in knots, guilt tangled with dread. She kept hearing her mother’s voice in her head: “You know how much this means to your grandmother.” But what was never spoken in her family was how emotionally exhausting these gatherings had become for her — the subtle jabs about her body, the persistent questioning about why she was still single, the way the room would go silent whenever she spoke up about something “too political.” She told me that each year, she left feeling smaller than when she arrived. That summer, for the first time, she chose herself.
Break the Stigma: Mental Health Matters in Every Community
We can’t afford to keep sweeping things under the rug. In real time, we are in a state of collective exhaustion. Inflation is making it hard for families to stay afloat, racial tensions continue to rise, and communities of color are still fighting for basic rights and recognition. Add in the impact of constant police brutality, mass shootings, and political unrest, and you’ve got a mental health crisis that’s hard to ignore.
Independence, Autonomy, and Healing: Rethinking Freedom in Therapy
Freedom is one of those words we toss around easily — especially in the therapy room. We say things like “find your voice,” “set yourself free,” or “take back control.” But what does freedom mean when you’ve never felt safe enough to make your own choices? What does it mean when every time you tried to choose yourself, someone told you that you were being selfish, disloyal, or ungrateful?
“Strong, Silent, and Suffering”: The Emotional Education Men Never Got
Most men aren’t taught how to care for their mental health. They’re taught how to perform masculinity.
From early childhood, boys are conditioned to embody a narrow version of manhood: be tough, don’t cry, stay in control. Vulnerability is treated as a liability, and tenderness as a threat. The result? A dangerous emotional straightjacket — one that leaves men silently suffering under the weight of feelings they were never allowed to name.
I needed a change: My path from lawyer to therapist…
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a deep desire to help people. I’ve always enjoyed talking and, according to my parents, debating. At one point, I thought law might be a natural fit for me, especially given my passion for advocating for others. But alongside that, I was also drawn to psychology, literature, music, and art— all of which I saw as powerful expressions of the human experience. Growing up, I found myself torn between pursuing law or psychiatry, but at the time, mental health wasn’t as widely discussed, and I didn’t know much about becoming a therapist beyond psychiatry. By the end of high school, I realized medical school wasn’t for me, so I decided to pursue law school instead.
Pride is a Protest: Mental Health, Liberation, and Queer Resistance
It’s June, we hope to still see across cities and towns, the rainbow flags flying high, fluttering from windows and storefronts. Pride Month is a celebration — yes, but let’s never forget that it began as a protest. The first Pride was a riot by people who were tired of hiding, tired of policing themselves to survive.
Yes, You are probably stressed out. Here are Top 5 EASY Stress-Relief Techniques Backed by Science
When we feel stressed, our bodies go into "fight or flight" mode, a natural response that helps us deal with all kinds of danger and challenges in real time. Our brain automatically releases hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which get our heart pumping faster, our blood pressure up, and our muscles tensed, all to get us ready for action.
Why Therapy Might Not Be Right for You
Honestly, at this point, everybody on IG, BlueSky, and their mamas swear by therapy these days. “Go talk to somebody.” “You need to heal.” And sure, therapy is powerful—it can change lives. But let’s be real: it’s not for everybody, at least, not all the time. So, before you book that first session, let’s talk about why therapy might not be what you need right now.
The Unseen Cycle: How Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Can Unintentionally Become Abusers
There’s a hard truth we don’t talk about enough: sometimes, survivors of narcissistic abuse can find themselves repeating the very behaviors that once harmed them. Not out of malice or intention—but out of unhealed trauma, fear, and learned survival strategies. It’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit neatly into victim/perpetrator binaries. But it’s real, and we need to talk about it.
No, It’s Not You—It Seems the Narcissists Have Taken Over
You’re not imagining it. The world does feel more chaotic, more selfish, more performative—and yes, more narcissistic. If you’re exhausted by people who seem allergic to accountability, allergic to nuance, allergic to basic relational respect, trust that. Your gut is not overreacting. You're living in the midst of a profound spiritual and socio-political reckoning.
Why Group Therapy Might Be the Right Choice for You
So, you’ve been in therapy for a while, and maybe you’re starting to feel like you’ve said everything there is to say. Perhaps the usual one-on-one sessions aren’t feeling as helpful as they used to, or you just don’t feel as connected to your therapist anymore. It’s totally normal to hit a bit of a wall in therapy sometimes. And if you’re starting to feel like that, you might be wondering if it’s time to switch things up. Ever thought about group therapy?
I know, the idea of sitting in a room with strangers and talking about your personal stuff can sound a little scary. But group therapy can actually be super helpful, and honestly, it might be just what you need right now. Here’s why.
OMG My MOOD IS Up and Down Every Day!! — HELP!
The world we’re living in right now is, to put it lightly, crazy. Things seem to be shifting at a pace that’s both dizzying and exhausting. One minute, everything feels fine, and the next, you’re overwhelmed, anxious, or sinking into a fog of depression. For so many of us, the combination of global chaos, personal pressures, and the constant bombardment of stressors can make it feel like we're walking on a tightrope, constantly teetering between holding it all together and falling apart.
Quit That Job You Hate… Maybe
Are you finding yourself questioning whether you should stay in your current job? You're not alone. Deciding to leave a job is a major life decision and can be incredibly stressful. Here's a guide to help you evaluate whether it's time to move on and some practical steps to take if you decide to quit
Beyond Burnout: Understanding Workplace Trauma
We recognize burnout when we can no longer function as quickly or effectively as we once did. When we find ourselves disconnected, brain fogged, or constantly feeling stressed. The physical and emotional effects are damaging and they can impact our personal lives and relationships.
When navigating burnout, self-care and rest are often viewed as the remedy. It is placed on the individual to push through their depleted state and somehow reignite their passion.
The issue with this though is that for some, self-care alone isn’t enough to recover.
When Attachment Styles Clash: Building Bridges in Intimacy
Our intimate relationships can be a place where your deepest insecurities and relational patterns emerge. Attachment styles—your subconscious blueprint for navigating intimacy—play a significant role in how you connect with others. When attachment styles clash between partners, the result can be a dance of misunderstandings, emotional triggers, and unmet needs.
You’re in Therapy… Maybe Your Child Needs It Too
Therapy isn’t just for adults. It’s a space for growth, healing, and breaking patterns—often ones you didn’t even realize were there. That’s a powerful journey. But what about your child? The one watching, absorbing, and moving through a world that doesn’t always make space for their emotions? It’s worth asking: Do they need therapy too?
The Hidden Costs of Chasing Perfection in Love
We see them.
The flawless Instagram relationships with fairy-tale endings of curated proposals and choreographed dances at weddings. Our IG/TikTok feeds are constantly flooded with images of couple goals, perfectly timed vacations, effortless communication, and partners who seem to meet every emotional need without fail.
But is this reality?
No. I’m not a hater but I’ve seen how the neverending pursuit of a perfect love story can often leave many clients feeling disillusioned, disconnected, and unfulfilled in the relationships that they do have.
Folks, I Don’t Think This Situation Is a “Wait and It Will Resolve” Kinda Thing
I’ve been hearing a lot of folks say, “Things will work themselves out.” As if democracy is some self-cleaning oven. As if the erosion of rights, the rise in political violence, and the increasing normalization of authoritarian tactics are just phases we can ride out. I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t a waiting game. This is an all-hands-on-deck moment.
How to Hold Yourself Down in a Crisis — And Show Up for Others
Life can put you on the struggle bus. One minute, everything is smooth, and the next, you’re dodging curveballs you never saw coming. Maybe it’s a sudden job loss, a breakup that snatches the air from your lungs, or a family emergency that turns your world upside down. Whatever it is, the weight is real. And when you’re in the thick of it, the last thing you need is empty positivity or soppy advice that doesn’t hit. What you need is a way through, so let’s talk about how to hold yourself down and how to hold space for others when they’re in the trenches too.