What It Means to Heal the Ghosts We Carry Within
When my grandfather died, grief arrived in ways I didn’t expect. It wasn’t only about losing him—it was about seeing how family history showed up in the days that followed. Relatives traveled over states and countries, trying to gather, booking flights, sending messages back and forth. Some of us were able to come together, others not. The distances weren’t just about geography; they were about years of migration, work that pulled people away, and histories of upheaval. Anyone who has lived far from family knows this truth: distance is rarely measured in miles alone.
For The Whole Therapist: Countertransference: How to Manage When Things Feel Too Close
Consider a therapist working with a client who shares a similar background of childhood trauma. The therapist begins to feel an overwhelming urge to protect the client, leading to over-involvement and difficulty maintaining professional boundaries. Or in another scenario, a therapist feels intense frustration towards a client who consistently resists therapeutic interventions. Or a therapist feeling discomfort or guilt related to their privilege compared to their client, these are experiences of countertransference in the client-therapist relationship. Countertransference, a concept introduced by Sigmund Freud, refers to the emotional reactions and projections a therapist experiences towards a client. While Freud contributed significantly to the development of psychoanalysis, his work has been critiqued for its patriarchal biases and lack of cultural sensitivity. Despite these flaws, his introduction of countertransference laid the groundwork for future exploration.
“Strong, Silent, and Suffering”: The Emotional Education Men Never Got
Most men aren’t taught how to care for their mental health. They’re taught how to perform masculinity.
From early childhood, boys are conditioned to embody a narrow version of manhood: be tough, don’t cry, stay in control. Vulnerability is treated as a liability, and tenderness as a threat. The result? A dangerous emotional straightjacket — one that leaves men silently suffering under the weight of feelings they were never allowed to name.