You Don’t Look Sick: Living with an Invisible Disability
When I first became aware of disabilities, images of wheelchairs, white canes, and sign language came to mind. I never thought of invisible disabilities until I went to graduate school for clinical social work. Mental or physical illnesses that you can’t see which are just as impactful on people’s lives as visible disabilities. Learning about these was important knowledge to obtain. I never thought that what I was learning was going to impact me so immediately and directly. Until it was, I’m a therapist and now I have an invisible disability.
The Perils of Summer Love: Love Bombing & Gaslighting
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
How Do You Listen?
I’ve been thinking about what it means to listen. Listening is a form of active engagement which I think is different from hearing. Hearing is physiological. Hearing is a passive and automatic sensory process. If we have the privilege to hear, we don’t control it. Listening is an active and intentional process. It involves paying conscious attention to the sounds we hear, interpreting them, and understanding their meaning. Listening requires focus, cognitive engagement, and often emotional involvement. It's a deliberate action that goes beyond mere auditory perception to include processing and comprehension. We don’t have to have the physiological function to hear in order to listen.
Are you using your child to get back at your ex? The Impact of Parental Alienation
Constance and Damian have recently gone through a bitter divorce. Constance feels deeply hurt by Damian's actions during their marriage, and though he wants to stay involved in their children's lives, Damian does not want to be married anymore. This is a blow to Constance, she thought things were going ok despite the challenges of raising two and the economic stress they’ve been under. Constance can't seem to move past her anger. She starts making it difficult for Damian to see the kids—canceling visits at the last minute, ignoring his calls, and speaking negatively about him in front of their children. As weeks turn into months, Damien notices that his son, Jake is becoming more distant, even protective of Constance. His younger daughter, Grace, seems confused. Constance’s unresolved anger is inadvertently causing emotional harm to their kids.
It’s Self-Care Month (designated by the World Health Organization in 2019).
Thanks WHO! Did you know the concept of self-care in the United States originated as a medical term in the 1950s for long term care patients? Later the ‘self care’ concept was adopted by activist groups during the civil rights movement as a way to manage the wear and tear on one’s body when on the front lines. BUT, if we take a moment and decenter western history around the concept, we can see that indigenous forepeople have been attuned to the needs for time for holistically caring for the body (and the planet, for that matter) as a collective responsibility for a community long before the concept was named and, now talked about by influencers. ( I mean, I remember my grandma talking about “resting her eyes”... can anyone else think of terms or phrases from elders that talked about ideas of rest?) Anyway…
Summer is Sexy: Let’s Talk About Safer Sex and Consent Without Shame - 5 Things to Think About
Summer 2024 is about to be here, and with it comes sun-soaked days, late-night adventures, and the sizzling promise of romance and connection of all kinds. Whether you're getting that sexy drip together for smashtime or getting all Bridgeton about it …preparing to rekindle an old flame. It’s time to Let’s Get It On (for you old timers), make that WAP happen ... .or just be in the heat of this undeniably sexy summer. But with all the excitement, it’s essential to keep our conversating (it’s in the Oxford Dictionary!) or conversations around sex, consent, and safety both proactive and shame-free.
Thriving Amidst the Chaos? Burnout in the Age of Late-Stage Capitalism
You’ve been here a long time. You might turn to doom scrollingl through our social media feeds to capture the news of the day with a dash of levity with a baby or cat video but you know you have to get to work. You tell yourself you’re fortunate to have a job, even if the job might not be enough to sustain, or it’s just enough but not fulfilling. You desire to do something different or want to find a way to give back to your communities. You tell yourself that these are ‘first-world’ problems but know deep down you have to pivot - make a change. It’s an oxygen mask on yourself moment in the hopes of something greater.
Being with Suffering
The news is awful. There’s no way to sugar coat it. You can’t ignore it (and empaths, really can’t.) You can’t unsee the things you’ve seen and some feel like it’s their duty to be a constant witness. Small talk might be getting harder for you; and you might find irritation at those who seem like they're always ‘happy’ or are apolitical about what’s happening around them. Platitudes feel lame and, at best, don't really seem appropriate to the times.
The Road to Forgiveness: A Journey Paved with Grace
Within the fabric of our lives, forgiveness intertwines a delicate thread, binding wounds and healing scars. The road to forgiveness is not an easy one; it is fraught with pain, resentment, and sometimes, an overwhelming sense of injustice. Yet, as you traverse this challenging path, you'll find that forgiveness is not just a destination but a transformative journey, guided by the profound force of grace. Here are some ways to approach it:
Unleash Your Creativity this Spring: A Guide to Manifesting Something New in Your Life
Springtime is often associated with rejuvenation, growth, and the emergence of new possibilities. As nature begins to bloom, so too does our desire for change and exploration. If you've found yourself yearning for something meaningful, different, or transformative in your life, then you're in the right place at the right time. Welcome to the release of "You Are Creative" – a guide designed to ignite your inventive spirit and empower you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and creation.
What is liberation psychology and what is liberation-based therapy?
Originating from the works of psychologists like Ignacio Martín-Baró and Paulo Freire, liberation psychology
emerged as a response to oppressive political regimes and social injustices occurring in Latin American during
the 1970s. It was a time when many Latin American countries were ruled by authoritarian regimes, and people
faced persecution and marginalization for expressing dissenting views or advocating for social change. Against
this backdrop, psychologists recognized the urgent need to address not just individual mental health issues
but also the broader social and political factors contributing to widespread suffering and oppression. This
practice offers a unique perspective on healing—one that prioritizes empowerment, cultural relevance, and
the interconnectedness of personal and societal well-being.
Mutual Aid: A Call to Support the LBT Mental Health Fund - Support Us Store
I started the mutual aid fund during the pandemic because people found themselves in the midst of the crisis without access to mental health services. As we all remember, that time was also fraught with grief in relation to the many, many deaths of loved ones in our communities, job loss, fear and uncertainty of what the future might hold; fear of getting sick; getting sick with little resources. Then add the death of George Floyd, and the extremely divided political situation going into the presidential election - many people were on the brink. LBT reached out to a few generous individual donors who were able to support the fund - and we were able to provide support to people who were in deep need.
Walk in Faith
Isn't it intriguing how our perception changes with distance? From high above, the world seems vast and boundless, yet intimately connected. It's akin to how we sometimes view our faith journey. When your faith or higher power feels distant, it's easy to succumb to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. You may question its presence, wondering if it's truly there amidst the chaos of your life.
On Starting Over…
Life is a wild ride, filled with unexpected detours and crossroads that prompt us to contemplate the daunting prospect of starting over. Whether spurred by personal decisions, external circumstances, or a blend of both, mastering the art of starting over is a vital skill. New beginnings can offer a transformation power, or even a sexy resilience required to navigate change. The opportunities that emerge when we boldly step into the unknown can take us to places we could have never dreamed.
A Method for Healing: Accelerated Resolution Therapy
Accelerated Resolution Therapy or ART is an evidence-based approach that helps alleviate the symptoms of PTSD, depression, stress, and anxiety. Whether you are struggling with specific symptoms or are carrying difficult memories and emotions from your past, ART will take a targeted approach to help you heal from these circumstances.
Ugh! I am having problems talking to my kid! Ways to improve communication with children and teens
Improving communication with children and teens is essential for fostering healthy relationships and supporting their development. It is not easy to do with busy schedules, long work days and long commutes. There are not enough hours in the day to be the kind of parent we want to be. And let’s be real, sometimes our kids get on our nerves! Especially when they are having growth spurts or when teens are going through the individuation process (when they begin to get a sense of themselves in the world separate from you) they can be hard to talk with. Here are some strategies that can help enhance communication:
Building Stronger Foundations: Working with Children and their Families
Family dynamics play a critical role in shaping a child's behavior and development. The family is often considered the primary social unit where children first learn about relationships, communication, and values. Children are highly influenced by the interactions and relationships within their families, and these dynamics can either promote healthy or problematic behaviors. For instance, a supportive and nurturing family environment can lead to positive behaviors in children, fostering qualities like empathy, cooperation, and self-confidence. Conversely, a family with a high level of conflict, neglect, or inconsistency can contribute to behavioral problems, such as aggression, anxiety, or poor social skills.
Transpersonal Psychotherapy? Holistic Approaches? Reiki? I'm confused!
I often get asked about other various approaches to wellness and healing modalities that are beyond “talk therapy”. There is so much out there that people get confused about what they should try or what might be right for them. They ask, what’s “real”? What's “fake”? There is so much out there. I cannot write an exhaustive blog post of everything that is out there but I will share what a few clients have asked me about in the past couple of months.
Transpersonal psychotherapy is a holistic approach to psychotherapy that goes beyond traditional psychological concepts and explores the spiritual, transcendent, and mystical aspects of human experience. It acknowledges that individuals have a deeper or higher self and seeks to help people connect with this aspect of themselves to achieve personal growth and transformation.
Why I Can’t See You and Your Partner for Individual Therapy
It's not uncommon for individuals to seek help for issues that affect their relationships. Relationship problems can indeed take a toll on one's mental well-being, and seeking therapy is a commendable step toward addressing these concerns. However, there is a crucial distinction between individual therapy and couples therapy, and it's important to understand why therapists often cannot see both partners individually when relationship issues arise. This recently came up for me, so I thought it would be helpful to share the reasons behind this practice and why it is essential for the effectiveness of therapy.
Engagement
The engagement period can be an exciting and transformative time for a new couple. While experiences and feelings can vary among couples, here are some common aspects of what the engagement period might feel like.