“She’s Not Her Ex, and I’m Not a Fantasy”: When Your Client Is Loving Someone Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

“She’s Not Her Ex, and I’m Not a Fantasy”: When Your Client Is Loving Someone Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

As a therapist, I often work with clients navigating the confusing terrain of early relationships. One of my clients—let’s call her Maya—came into therapy recently trying to make sense of a relationship that was both deeply affirming and increasingly destabilizing.

Maya is dating a woman named Alicia. From the start, she described their connection as electric, magnetic, soulful. They could talk for hours. The physical chemistry was undeniable. The emotional intimacy, profound. Maya felt seen, held, wanted—not in a superficial way, but in a way that made her believe in something sustainable.

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The Unseen Cycle: How Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Can Unintentionally Become Abusers

The Unseen Cycle: How Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Can Unintentionally Become Abusers

There’s a hard truth we don’t talk about enough: sometimes, survivors of narcissistic abuse can find themselves repeating the very behaviors that once harmed them. Not out of malice or intention—but out of unhealed trauma, fear, and learned survival strategies. It’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit neatly into victim/perpetrator binaries. But it’s real, and we need to talk about it.

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